Oh the much maligned, much loved, marmite of the vegetable world – the Brussels Sprout. How I love thee. You little green ball of tastiness.

It’s that time of year again – Xmas – and these little buggers come out in their bright green coats by the million. A good thing if like me you can’t get enough of ‘em.

Recently I found myself in a Toby Carvery next to the hotel we were staying in. Now as previous posts will attest I loves me some Sunday dinner. I don’t mind which franchise (Toby or Crown) they have their strengths and weaknesses, but Toby – to their credit – do Sprouts at this time of year.

So we eat the carvery on the Monday which includes plenty of Sprouts. Due to our inherent laziness, and the fact that I was down with a cold we did the same Tuesday. Nice

Lots of sprouts then. I mean a lot, I can easily eat a plate full with a nice gravy and a splash of bread sauce. Hungry?

So the next night me and m’colleague went, as a change, to the TGI Fridays down the road. To our surprise there was a choice of three hotels near here and as we were going to be working again in the vicinity we thought it would be an idea to ask about rooms. As we came out of the eating establishment we walked over to the Holiday Inn Express to ask.

Now as I have had two nights of Brussels which, as we all know have ‘side-effects’ – and now a mahoosive rack of the most delicious, tender, sweet, fat-free, cooked to perfection ribs – which in me also have the same ‘side-effect’…

I needed to fart.

Being the polite old duffer that I am I reasoned that to stop me blowing off with any noise or smell, I’d better step outside. This meant exiting through a double set of sliding doors. So I did. Unfortunately this arrangement of plate glass opening panels created a vestibule of echo and amplification. I got outside and thinking they were closed – let rip.

It was a good and wholesome botty cough and I was proud and a little amused at my gaseous exchange. Turning round I noticed to my utter amusement the doors were not closed. I walked off into the car park laughing.

M’colleague still in the foyer of the hotel had to ask about rooms and tariffs whilst everybody was looking at the staff who, knowing he had come in with me, were sporting displeased expressions. They had stopped mid sentence/action to see which filthy bugger had farted so loudly and lengthily. That would be me.

So yes, Brussels famous for generating wind so indeed. It will not stop me eating them. In fact it probably increases my consumption. So when you have your Sprouts don’t forget…

Let it out Load and Proud.

My favourite meal from an Indian restaurant at the moment is Chicken Tikka Biryani (Cooked with basmati rice, flavoured with saffron, served with vegetable curry.)

It’s just as I like a curry – not spicy hot but a little zing. I like flavour not heat. I used to go through hot curries like there was no tomorrow; Vindaloo, Madras etc. However I have discovered the reason for this. I was very, very drunk when I ate curries and therefore didn’t realise I was basically eating lava.

Now I only drink a little here and there, and hence don’t get arseholed, I came to the conclusion that eating hot curries is not for me. Indeed my ‘rusty bullet hole’ has had a reprieve from passing something that would be less uncomfortable if it were actually on fire.

So flavour wins the game and Biryani is the Indian dish for me.

Obviously when you have a sit-down at an Indian as a rule Poppadoms and the selection of dips is a must. These have been a much of a muchness at the above restaurants but good none-the-less.

However I recently visited the Bengal Brasserie at Malvern, where a good ten of us had our nose-bag, and I was introduced—by Kev–to Boti Kebab as a starter. It seems to be Lamb and is bright red. I highly recommend this. Delicious.

So therefore I would like to recommend to you, dear reader, a couple or three good establishments that serve a good tasty dish:-

Turmeric Gold

http://www.turmericgold.com/

Crockhurst Street
Tudeley
Tonbridge
Kent
TN11 0NT
Tel: 01732 361 772 or 359 325

The rice portion was mahoosive and would have fed two.

Light of Asia Indian Restaurant

http://www.lightofasia.co.uk/

34 Eastgate Street
Aberystwyth
Ceredigion
SY23 2AR
Tel: 01970 615040

Big Portions very tasty.

Bengal Brasserie

5-7 Worcester Road
Malvern
Worcestershire
WR14 4QY
Tel:01684 575 744

Very tasty, big, best veggie curry with potato.

Dine Bangla

http://www.just-eat.co.uk/restaurants-dine-bangla/menu

24 Oswald Road
Scunthorpe
North Lincolnshire
DN15 7PT
Tel: 01724 840 500

Very tasty, generous portion.

I would like to thank the following for a great night at the Indian in Malvern, in no particular order –

Kev, Ian, Dez, Nige, Gary, Pete, Andy, Dan and Marcin.

Also the previous night where we all got drunk and abused Ant and Dec in the Unicorn Pub. Thanks.

OK one of my favourite dishes at Yo! Sushi is the Katsu Chicken, this can also be had as a curry—it’s basically the same chicken strips only as the name would suggest it comes as a curry, with rice. This is the dish I order first if I don’t want to go on a 10+ plate orgy of consumption when the belly is willing but the wallet is not. The rice and sauce make the dish filling curtailing any notion of building a tower out of my empties.

Now I thought this was something of a Yo! exclusive. How wrong I was, it’s a common dish. This means I can get a decent Katsu Curry from Tesco—other supermarkets are available—even though it’s not strictly the same product as the Sushi chains. It’s made by a company called ‘The City Kitchen’ you can make that out by the photo above if you squint a bit.

Coming in a plastic container much like a Chinese takeaway does nowadays, there is just enough food to make a meal of it without making a pig of yourself.

Inside that plastic is—and I quote—An authentic Katsu curry sauce with coconut cream & honey, garlic, ginger & red chilli. In accompaniment, fragrant sticky Jasmine rice, with red pepper, water chestnut & spring onion, finished with coriander.

The sauce is not too hot, just right for me. Not greasy either like some ready meals out there which separate and require a good mixing to blend the oil back in. Thickness is important and in this respect all the boxes were ticked, not pissy and not ‘one slice or two’ either. It clung on nicely to the vegetables and succulent chicken breast meat. The latter being white and juicy, the former crisp and fresh.

Then there is the shaped round of that sticky Jasmine rice. I favour the long grain basmati style and this grain fits that ideal perfectly. Easy to part and smother in curry, a loverly texture and flavour. Nicely garnished with Coriander.

So… the rice is soft, the veg crisp and the chicken succulent breast. All in all a great meal, quick and easy and all you need to do having devoured the tasty is wash up a spoon (yes I eat stuff like this with a spoon not a fork, it’s easier and you don’t waste the sauce. I even eat Shepherds Pie like this)

£3.50 well spent.