Favourite Menu Items

Ah loverly. Done right, the Full English Breakfast is the best meal ever. Doesn't even have to be morning time. Any time will do.
Whilst not having the F.E.B. these...

Mcdonalds-90s-logo.svgDouble Sausage and Egg McMuffin & Hash Brown

BKsmallXL Bacon Double Cheeseburger & Chili Cheese Bites

nansmallMango & Lime Whole Chicken (only Hull/Lincoln)

frank180F&B Meatballs on Spaghetti

yo1Chicken Katsu Curry & Yo Rolls

Harvester Logo_salad-grillBudweiser Mega Ribs with baby potatoes

fayresmallCorn Dogs – Fillet Steak Medallions

WetherspoonLEggs Benedict / 12oz Angus Steak

phsmallNew York Deli

domsmallMighty Meaty

greggsSausage/Egg/Bacon Roll – Bacon/Cheese Savory

kfcsmallFillet Tower Burger Meal (only Scunny)

PrintCarnitas Burrito with Salsa Verde

tbsmallGrilled Stuffed Burrito

RedsNorth Carolina Pulled Pork ‘n’ Slaw

tfismallDouble Glazed Ultimate Ribs

brewer_fayreSteak, Kidney & Boddingtons Pudding

crown-carveries-in-generalTurkey, Gammon & plenty of Roasties

bpsmallIndian: Chicken Tikka Sagwalla

wagamamaPulled Pork Gyoza

Giraffe-logo_orangeGiraffe Burger and Skin on fries

harry-logoHaddock, Chips, and Peas

Ed-sBarbecue Deluxe Burger

ChiquitoPulled Pork Baked Enchilada

HardRockCafeLegendary 10oz Burger

44ce0de1-6858-47eb-8df9-0d3ad5a454eaCarnitas Burrito with Salsa Tomatillo

1_frame_HEADER_IMAGEArancini Margherita

download (2)Man vs Burrito with Pulled Pork

education-news-wok-and-go1Mee Gee Seafood Box

little-chefBreakfast Wrap, Lavazza Coffee


tortilla copyCarnitas Burrito

chimiPulled Pork Burrito

New-Bella-LogoPolpette Americano (Spaggy Meatballs)

download (3)Spaghetti with Meatballs

rebelsPulled Pork Ultimate Platter with Beans and Chips

Updated 15/01/2015

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Bacon Sandwich

I have just had the best, self made, bacon butty in my life.

It was made simply from unsmoked bacon from Spoilt Pig, five rashers, a ‘Scotch Big Eat Roll’ from ASDA, and Salted Butter from Lurpak.

Yes, a naked, no condiment, no extra, no faff, bacon butty of the highest order. Cooked to perfection in my Tefal Optigrill. If you don’t know, it’s the one that’s got a computer in the handle and a thickness meter in it’s hinge. Set to ‘Bacon’ I always leave it a little past well done for porky greatness.

I have tried many bacons in my grill. Spoilt Pig unsmoked back bacon seems the best bet for me. I usually go for bacon that’s got as little fat on it as possible. Going so far as to purchase Bacon medallions that have none at all. No need with this choice pigginess as the fat just crisps up lovely. I do not like bacon when the fat stays all chewy and slippery and gross. Must be crispy, Must be or not there.

Slimy, chewy fat is the main reason I eat sausage butties out and about. Well, preferably Sausage and Egg. The best of which can be had at Sally’s Sandwich Shop on Scotter Road, Scunthorpe.

To rolls, or if you prefer buns, baps, cobs, barm, or any number of names for them. I love the ones at Sally’s, and ASDA Scotch Big Eats, because they are soft and squidgy. That’s how I roll :-)

Lurpak Butter. Got to be Butter, may as well have a good one.

Yes, I could have had Brown Sauce as I love it, but I thought I’d go simple and what a good choice that was. Sometimes all you taste is the sauce – a reason why I don’t have it on burgers – nice as it is I wanted to taste the bacon in it’s purest form.

Well, the grill just beeped to say it’s back to temp – Round Two



Yes, Maccy’s have the McRib in the UK at the minute, delicious as it is, it’s not a patch on actual slow cooked pork ribs. Cooked low for a long time, until they fall apart at the merest whiff of a fork.

I have to use a fork due to my weirdness. I cannot stand food on my fingers. Sauces and grease make me feel queasy if they are covering my digits. Therefore I eat ribs with a knife and fork. This means they have to basically fall off the bones. Rib bones are very difficult to hold with a piece of cutlery. Luckily most places cook the pork so they tear off easily and cleanly.

In the past you had to go to a specialist BBQ place to get decent ribs. Damons in Lincoln was the place to go for us Yellow Bellies, but now there are many emporiums that can cook a decent rib. Which is good because Damons Racks have become decidedly average of late. Smaller than before and not so special, a rack and a half used to finish me off yet now I’m craving a pudding, even Harvester do bigger better ribs. Their Budweiser Mega Ribs are sublime. I haven’t been served a bad rack up to now. (if in TGI Friday – remember NOT to order the Jack Daniels Sauce on yer ribs as the dressing is awful, too sweet and acidic)

Cooking at home in days of yore was a no-no as not one supermarket could come up with an edible rib. You’d be better off eating a shoe. Yes, I could have some from the butcher and gone to the trouble of marinating and what-not, but who has the time for that malarkey. No. Ready cooked racks you finish in the oven to perfection – always bake for 10 to 15 minutes more than instructions recommend, covered to prevent drying of the sauce – are now a possibility.

Starting with M&S, who’s BBQ Rib Ticklers – “low and slow applewood smoked British pork rib rack served with a sticky apple bbq glaze” – are transcendent, divine, heavenly, glorious even. Never any gristle or bone fragments, fall off the bone, I’ve yet to take them from pan to plate without the rack breaking, these ribs are the best. £14.00 for two – a bargain for perfection.

Tesco then stepped up with New York Style Pork Ribs – “A slowly cooked, marinated rack of pork ribs with New York style sauce. Slowly cooked for 4 hours in a blend of pepper & spices with a smoky BBQ sauce to finish” – we can now enjoy porky goodness to our liking from a major player. Succulent meat, no gristle, great spicy sweet sauce. These are moorish. I don’t understand why they print Great For Sharing on the box though, because Tucker don’t Share Food. Especially meat based cuisine. £4.00 each or two for £7.00

Next I want to try the Waitrose offering, I have heard good things. I will update this paragraph with the results.

I’m not saying supermarket ribs, even M&S, can compete with a bona-fide BBQ pit, but they are near enough to the ones I have sampled here in the UK. Having watched, salivating usually, Man vs Food on the Good Food channel, I would love to follow in Adam’s footsteps and eat at all the places he frequents, to taste and enjoy genuine BBQ pit ribs. Would they be any better? Funds do not allow a trip to the US and A, so I’ll have to make do with my favourites above.

Please recommend me a BBQ pit here in the UK, or shop bought Rack in the comments. I wanna sample them all.

Ready Salted Crisps.

Next to chips, crisps are the greatest human invention. Well next to pies, burritos, beer, tea, hamburgers, and meatballs they are the greatest human endeavour. Invented out of spite due to a belligerent customer by George Crum in 1853. Thanks George.

As have many people, we all have a favourite flavour. My sister is a fan of the Cheese and Onion whilst my youngest offspring is all about the Roast Chicken.

They are forgetting the most wondrous flavour on the planet…

Ready Salted.

I used to be a big fan of Salt and Vinegar, but just a bag of loverly salted crisps does it for me. Some of the best are Walkers. They used to be horrible in the 80’s and 90’s due to them being greasy and bubbly – if that’s the right word, they had bubbles on the surface of them. Nowadays they are sublime. Not greasy, smooth and crispy these potato creations are salted just enough you can taste it, but not too much that you need a gallon of water afterwards.

I have tried a variety of the de-rigeur style, handmade, and the only one that tickles my fancy – and comes close to Walkers – are Tesco Finest Hand Cooked Lightly Salted Crisps pictured above. They come in a mahoosive bag, always a bonus, and buck the trend for handmades, in as much as they are crispy not crunchy. The clues in the name, don’t make em crunchy – they’re crisps. A slight downside is they can be a little greasy occasionally.

Then we come to Pipers. Pipers crisps are made up the road in Elsham, North Lincolnshire, and are what can only be described as a niche brand as they are steadfastly not sold in any of the big supermarkets. They are however, found all over in corner shops, pubs, cafes, and farmers markets.

Their Anglesey Sea Salt crisps are glorious. In fact I’d probably go as far as saying they are a little better than Walkers to be honest. They are definitely saltier than Walkers, but in a good way – the salt is tastier more rounded. They’re potatoes are local and that’s a good thing because we know how to grow veg here in Lincolnshire. Cooked to perfection, crisps as they should be. A bonus – however silly – Walkers 32.5g (formerly 34.5g), Pipers 40g, can’t complain at that, can we?

The trouble with other flavours is sugar. Ready Salted have three ingredients:- Potato, Oil, Salt. That’s it. All other varieties, including Salt and Vinegar, have sugar in them. Every single one. Why? All I can taste is the sugar, There is no need for it, especially when you consider adding Vinegar would suffice.

Snacks, such as Quavers, Snaps, Space Raiders, Discos, Nik Naks, Wheat Chrunchies, and Hula Hoops all have their place and can be enjoyed in quantity by your author but for a proper bag of processed potato based savoury goodness, Pipers Ready Salted Crisps win.logo3

Then there is Doritos/Nachos but that’s whole other story.

McDonalds McRib – they’re back

This beauty is back in Maccys, only available until 3rd of February. I gotta get ‘em in fast. Don’t know how many I can get in me fat gaping maw by then.

As a food stuff they’re nutritionaly redundant and very bad for you. But I don’t care they’re delicious.

Favourite Chocolate Bar

I’m a savoury boy at heart. A sausage roll over sweeties any day. But occasionally you just hanker after and crave a chocolate hit.

Crispy wafer and chewy caramel covered in peanuts, raisins and Cadbury milk chocolate. Picnic has been going since 1958 and you can still find its nobbly goodness in a shop near you. I love a Picnic.

It used to be a Rowntree’s Nutty but they don’t make them any more. Shame, still there is a million and one choccy bars to keep me happy. The Walnut Whip, the Double Decker, the Wispa, the Marathon(Snickers), the Mars Bar. The Lion Bar, the Kit-Kat, Kit-Kat Chunky. Yorkie, the Boost, the Curly Wirly(Mr Ploppy’s personal favourite), the Topic, the Daim, the Galaxy Caramel, the Toffee Crisp. Maltesers, Twix, the Crunchie, the Milky Way, Rolo’s, Turkish Delight, the Flake, the exquisite Chomp, Freddo, Star Bar, the Toblerone, and just enough to give a girl a treat – the Finger of Fudge.

The Picnic trumps them all and consequently, triumphantly, gets eaten most. Om nom nom.

What’s yours?

Christmas Dinner done right.

Many people in the UK at this time of year, Christmas, have a massive meal on the 25th and as a kid and as a Husband, I used to do that in years gone by. Turkey, roasties, mash, brussell sprouts, carrots, parsnips, pigs in blankets, gravy, bread sauce, and other veggies if you are so inclined.

Since a time in the distant past, I always wanted “Egg and Chips” as my Yuletide dinner but was always thwarted, my requests and protestations going unheaded. Now I am master of my own destiny and no longer shackled to a wife or beholden to parents, I eat what I like.

As you can see from the photo above… nailed it.

Two eggs naturally


Spaghetti and Meatballs

Next to Mexican food I have to say my next choice of food group is Italian. Now as we all know there has to be a million and one ways of shaping pasta. I shall not go through a great big list as basically, imagine a shape. Yeah that’s right – there’s a pasta version of it.

When I cook a pasta dish at home for the offspring, it’s nearly always Spaghetti. She won’t eat any other shape!

Spaghetti is nearly always served with Bolognese sauce and minced beef. Luckily I do a good one, even from scratch. As I am no longer allowed to cook from fresh (an indecent with a Shepherds Pie and food poisoning) Spag Bol is the only dish I get away with.

But I like my minced beef in ball form. I love me a meat ball. I tried her with it once. Although she ate it and enjoyed it. Mince is the only way with that one.

I have had a plethora of different meat balls from all sorts of restaurants, be they dedicated Italian or some chain or other. Even the ones you get at Frankie and Benny’s are good. Mahoosive, you only get five. Soft, not heavy, tasty, just the right amount of seasoning. Same with Bella Italia and Prezzo, albeit smaller and more plentiful. Beautifully cooked meat and pasta to go with. They all do a great sauce. Whether you’d call em Bolognese is a matter for debate as that’s an English invention.

Obviously the crowning glory has to be a generous grating of Parmesan cheese. I like to have enough to cover the whole dish. Kind of like a pie crust if you can picture it. Has to be freshly grated off a block. None of that powdered shite. Why bother if you’re only gonna serve that crap.

If a food outlet of any type cannot do Spaghetti and Meatballs properly there is something seriously wrong. Even using cheap ready made balls from the supermarket produces a good meal. If you’re paying upwards of £20 for some the least they can do it make em fresh, make em light and soft with no gristle or hard bits. If I can do it so can they. If they are too unskilled to make a meat ball, even using Campbells meat balls would be preferable.

I recently got a bit mad that Bella Italia was so far away as their Spaggy Balls were sublime, yet so out of reach for a casual meal. Then up stepped Prezzo right next door. Well 18 miles away, but still, close enough to make it a possible tea time treat.

I will get my once-a-week fix. Bring on the balls.